This book gave me alot of insight to why I behave and react to certain situations I can now be aware and try to change and be a better parent to my children than my mother was to me I feel this is a book that could help those who are struggling with inner turmoil I don t feel it helped me repair my past relationship with my mother as much as it made me want to BE a better mother to my own children. breathtakingfinally now I knoweverything is not my faultbut its still sad because she will never change. Was Your Mother Too Busy, Too Tired, Or Too Checked Out To Provide You With The Nurturing You Needed As A Child Men And Women Who Were Undermothered As Children Often Struggle With Intimate Relationships, In Part Because Of Their Unmet Need For Maternal Care The Emotionally Absent Mother Will Help You Understand What Was Missing From Your Childhood, How This Relates To Your Mother S Own History, And How You Can Fill The Mother Gap By Examining The Past With Compassion For Yourself And Your MotherFinding The Child Inside Of You And Learning To Mother YourselfOpening To The Archetype Of The Good MotherAllowing Friends And Loved Ones To Provide Support, Guidance, And Other Elements Of Good Mothering That You MissedThrough Reflections, Exercises, And Clear Explanations, Psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori Helps Adult Sons And Daughters Heal The Wounds Left By Mothers Who Failed To Provide The Essential Ingredients That Every Child Needs She Traces Perceived Personal Defects Back To Mothering Deficits, Relieving Self Blame And, By Teaching Today S Undermothered Adults To Cultivate The Mothering They Missed, She Helps Them Secure A Happier Future For Themselves And Their Children Wow, what a well written, easy to understand perspective on dealing with and healing from being raised by an emotionally absent mother Compassionate to both child and parents perspective and proactive in tone Cori helped me understand myself and gave me tools to use to free some of the chains that kept me bound. I work with neglected children and see first hand how these attachment issues play out in the course of a child s life time. Extremely well written book on the effects of being raised by an emotionally absent mother While some of the healing exercises seemed cheesy the list of common feelings of under mothered children blew my mind. The book gives valuable validation for inner experiences and I believe it could help the reader understand what he she is going through The text shows compassion and perceptiveness on the part of the author which I appreciate.However, the scientific backing of the claims is lacking The proposed healing strategies also seemed a bit impotent and generic Nonetheless, some valuable ideas for a recovery plan can be gleaned from the text. I found this book to be very helpful Some of the new age y kind of stuff was a little much for me, like the inner child work and the stuff about mother nature and the good mother archetype, but I can see how it would be helpful for others I definitely think it is a book that would be helpful for women because I think it is too feeling based for men in therapy, and it definitely has a female voice It would be nice to see a book from a man s perspective, as I m sure that it isn t only just woken who struggle with this Some of the activities for journaling were very helpful I have been reading this book in conjunction with counseling, and I would highly recommend that, if the finances are available Some of the activities would have been really hard without a counselor involved. I found this an extremely well written book Whilst there is clearly a self help aspect to this book, it doesn t feel superficial or unrealistic as I find some other books that address the same issues I initially did find it triggering with the listing of what is good mothering and good mother messages known, but a lot to take in and really hold and contemplate at once The reading rolled nicely however once finding some space for all that.Clearly Cori knows the in and outs and subtleties of having an emotionally absent caregiver The information is presented in a way that would strike a cord even with those who flirt heavily with denial, either concerning their own parent or themselves as a parent justifying or idealizing in attempts to avoid the emotional impact of their upbringing.That said, I look forward to a book or am looking for one, if anyone has any ideas that addresses the father role Whilst she states the idea of mother could be anyone in care taking role, the use of mother language obviously provides some barrier to translating this material There are also social and cultural differences for how a father s absence is viewed The exercises she offers all seem highly valuable and relevant, and worthy contemplations for anyone I appreciated the encouragement and discussions of self care and self compassion And the acknowledgment that individuals can work towards healing NOW, by themselves although support is preferable.A truly insightful and helpful book Probably has value for everyone to some degree Even to become mindful of what it is to connect with children in a way that supports their healthy development. In simple language this book describes how a mother who is disengaged, emotionally absent or emotionally detached can cause specific deficiencies in her children Author Jasmin Cori describes exactly what a good mother does and what a disengaged mother does and how it makes the child feel She also describes methods of therapy and states that there are three choices for healing 1 find a surrogate mother, 2 get professional therapy, 3 learn to mother yourself I found that this book was the most helpful of all the books I read on the subject.Favorite Quotes from the book Not feeling safe, on the other hand, is the setup for anxiety to take hold It comes from feeling alone and unsupported in situations we can t handle by ourselves and from being in relationships with unavailable or unresponsive caregiverschokengtitiktitikchokeng 64If a family claims you as their own but you don t really feel that they know you are see you for who you are, you ll feel like an outsider within your own familychokengtitiktitikchokeng 67Receiving passive love can be deeply healing for undermothered women, who had to be so active in trying to earn love Soonja Kimquoted on p 136
Jasmin Lee Cori, MS, LPC, is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in working with adults who experienced childhood abuse and neglect She has worked in human service agencies and private practice, and taught psychology in colleges and professional schools She is the author of numerous articles and five books, including Healing From Trauma.
- 240 pages
- The Emotionally Absent Mother: A Guide to Self-Healing and Getting the Love You Missed
- Jasmin Lee Cori
- 13 August 2019 Jasmin Lee Cori