I first learnd of this book through Jim Beaver s Memoir of his wife, Cecily Adams in Life s That Way I wish I d read this years ago I ve read so much of the self help and Twelve Step genre over the years that I ve become a bit jaded about a lot of it Friedman throws a whole new approach and sensibility tempered with good humor that transcends the usual Pull Yourself Up By Your Bootstraps or Let Go and Let God Run the Dumptruck Over Her Him had to throw in a funny, there preaching that a lot of self guidance books tend to sink into I ve experienced two, severe, devastating losses during the last 18 months and this time, I mean to learn and heal instead of making the same stupid repitition compulsion driven mistakes. I really appreciated this book for the first half I related to so many things, especially all the unhelpful phrases well meaning people tend to say, like You ll find someone better or It s all for the best, or God has a plan Hearing someone else say that none of these things is remotely helpful and learning ways that we often learn to repress our grief rather than work it out is very encouraging However, I strongly disagreed with many statements made in the second half, including the complete disregard for faith and its role in the healing process I understood the point the authors were trying to make in that grief transcends religious boundaries, but to rule it out in the grief process entirely is not only foolish but, in my opinion, hurtful And the idea that one should never ask for forgiveness from someone is equally foolish Yes, I understand the point that one need s to take responsibility for one s own actions and say sorry where necessary, understanding that forgiveness may or may not be given, but to deny that forgiveness should ever be asked for And they stated that never under any circumstances should you seek out someone to tell them you forgive them While certainly there are times when someone does not even know they ve wronged you and all this would do is incite someone, there are also times when someone knows they ve done wrong and you may have withheld forgiveness for a very long time, only later realizing that you should forgive In this time of instance, offering forgiveness can go a long way toward restoring a relationship.All that aside, there are some very good insights However, considering they mentioned that when the book was written the world is still reeling from the death of Diana, I think some changes may have been made in the way we look at and treat grief.However, if you are grieving or know someone that is, I highly recommend the first half of the book, especially to know what NOT to say when doing your very best to help your struggling loved one.2.5 5 I highly recommend this book to anyone dealing with any grief in their lives It s very hands on but worth the work it takes It was very helpful for me and gives me a good place to go Rereading my notes and assignments is always good for me if I m struggling on one particular day It helped me map out my life, document the major life events, and realize what affected me most Then they help you through the process, talking you through each step and why it s important, and giving examples from their own lives Best self help book I ve ever read. This book is simply profound for anyone dealing with unresolved grief In my opinion, it therefore is great reading for most people even if they may not realize it But , it tasks you with actions to take, and those behavioral changes and homework done on oneself are what makes this program work as it does This program is not for the faint of heart, or for those afraid to look deep within, or simply don t buy into the fact that mere reading will not cut it Hospice is an amazing philosophy and I m grateful my community offered this for my work with and about Jay I now have tools in my emotional reservoir to look hard at my other losses, see what else is unresolved, and do the work moving forwardall in the noble goal of stronger happiness and promoting the capability to stay and appreciate every present moment and the full breadth of emotions life offers. Updated To Commemorate Its Th Anniversary, This Classic Resource Further Explores The Effects Of Grief And Sheds New Light On How To Begin To Take Effective Actions To Complete The Grieving Process And Work Towards Recovery And HappinessIncomplete Recovery From Grief Can Have A Lifelong Negative Effect On The Capacity For Happiness Drawing From Their Own Histories As Well As From Others , The Authors Illustrate How It Is Possible To Recover From Grief And Regain Energy And SpontaneityBased On A Proven Program, The Grief Recovery Handbook Offers Grievers The Specific Actions Needed To Move Beyond Loss New Material In This Edition Includes Guidance For Dealing With Loss Of Faith Loss Of Career And Financial Issues Loss Of Health Growing Up In An Alcoholic Or Dysfunctional HomeThe Grief Recovery Handbook Is A Groundbreaking, Classic Handbook That Everyone Should Have In Their Library This Book Is Required For All My Classes The I Use This Book, The I Believe That Unresolved Grief Is The Major Underlying Issue In Most People S Lives It Is The Only Work Of Its Kind That I Know Of That Outlines The Problem And Provides The Solution Bernard McGrane, PhD Professor Of Sociology, Chapman University I highly recommend this book It gives you a feeling of being understood It covers all kinds of loss in all areas of life and gives you a method for what the authors call completing your emotions This method might not work for everyone or for every loss But I think it is worth the effort and cannot hurt I will be trying to implement the suggested steps in my own way One caveat to the reader I feel strongly that, because person s each grief is unique, everyone should be free to take the suggestions and use them in their own unique way, not necessarily or dogmatically following the exact path laid out in the book. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to clean house when it comes to releasing grief and coming to a place of completion with the losses in their life.I read this book and did the work it suggested in conjunction with working with a grief counselor after my mother s passing I will also be doing the training program to strengthen my own skill set as a spiritual counselor who specializes in grief support and life transitions.This isn t an airy fairy fix, it s a roll up your sleeves and git er done, say what there is to say and move on, action based approach to loss It was hard, sometimes teary work, but I loved it A tricky review to write, because this self help book makes an important promise, as self help books generally do I d think anyone reading my review of it might want to know whether the authors and the book deliver on that promise That is, will the grief caused by death, divorce, trauma, moving, abuse, loss of career or trust or safety, loss of faith or mobility or physical or mental ability actually be lessened as a result of actions described in this guidebook I don t know but I do believe the authors sincerity in presenting their methods and in supporting the workshops and lectures they have created to accompany the book I believe they have helped thousands of grieving people complete their grief, as the book puts it, or lighten their loads as I might.I have not worked through the process yet THe book s structure is clean and the process is well presented Still, some of the steps felt repetitive and unecessary to me, in reading them, so I found myself reading on, page by page, trying to glean what I could to then make a decision about what action I would possibly take later I am still at that stage now, deciding what action I might take Interestingly, I do feel a bit lighter already I suppose inadvertently, I ve confronted a few important questions involving my mom s recent death and other losses, and even without meaning to, I undertook the initial steps of the guidebook s process as a result So although I did not create my own loss history graph to then convert to a relationship graph, nor did I write a good bye letter of completeness, I did gain a clearer understanding of what grief is and why it hits so hard, sneaks up on us even when we think we re doing fine, and why the same messages may run on repeat in our heads, long after the person is gone and the problems with that person seemed to have already been resolved So if that s already the case just from reading the book, I d imagine that a thorough process of working through the steps with a group or a partner, or alone would indeed deliver some excellent results This book was recommended to me by a trusted friend, and I m glad I managed to get a copy to keep I read every bit of it with genuine interest, and I m sure I will refer back to it over time.The edition I read was the 20th anniversary expanded edition from 2009, that I believe includes new passages on Alzheimers, my specific interest, and PTSD. This handbook has been extremely beneficial to me as I work my way through the grief of losing my wife I d recommend it to anyone caught in grief, whether it is grief caused by a death, a divorce, or even financial loss. wow honestly, a book i believe every single human needs to read and work through this book changed my life.i wish everyone i knew read this book and did the emotional work outlined here if everyone did, i know there would be less problems across the board getting into it with our emotions is so needed and the steps in this book are totally essential for dealing with relationships, loss and love in this modern society.i should probably give it a quick reread also, i find it helpful to go through the motions with the steps the grief chart, the letter, etc with multiple relationships in your life that can hold discordant energy one thing i love about this work is that most people find it through immense pain the death of a child or loved one but most of the time, the people that the relationship graph and all is focused on ends up being a parent because all wounds start in childhood and they start with the parent.again every single human needs to read this book.
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- 192 pages
- The Grief Recovery Handbook: The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death Divorce, and Other Losses
- John W. James
- 08 April 2017 John W. James