Immortal Matchmakers, Inc. (Immortal Matchmakers, #1)

Immortal Matchmakers, Inc. (Immortal Matchmakers, #1) Normally, I d read a book that had a bunch of elements that rub me the wrong way and I have nothing kind to say, but somehow, that s not the case this time I should be widely irritated These characters were over the top, irrational, nonsensical and idiotic, and yet I had a lot of fun reading about them Go freaking figure I really enjoyed Andrus I wanted to know even about him than what was revealed in this story I even looked up a visual reference for him and found myself even in lust with his character.Could you resist that guy C mon With a hilarious HFN ending, this story was wacky, funny, overdramatic, and a real good time This story was insanely entertaining Seven Days To Go From Lethal Immortal Assassin To Prince Charming Not LikelyDemigod Andrus Gray May Look Like Every Woman S Dream, But When It Comes To Charm, He Sees No Point Pretending He Has None And Makes No Apologies For It Behaving Nicely Hasn T Made Him The Deadly Assassin He Is Today But Is That Really The Reason He S Still Single The Goddess Cimil Owner Of Immortal Matchmakers, Inc Thinks Yes So When She Foresees A Mate In Andrus S Near Future, She S Determined To Make The Match Happen That Means Hiring Aspiring Actress Sadie Townsend To Help The Barbarian Act A Little CivilizedBut Are Seven Days Really Enough And Why Does The Idea Of Seeing Sadie Everyday Excite Him Than Meeting His Mate Immortal Matchmakers, Inc is book one in the Immortal Matchmakers, Inc series by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff Cimil is back And she is still up to her usual crazy antics She and Zac are now running the Immortal Matchmakers agency as part of their punishment for their previous crimes They must find mates for one hundred of their immortal friends This is a difficult task but even so when forced to depend on Cimil s crazy visions to lead the way Andrus Gray is a Demigod and also an immortal assassin With no evil beings to assassinate, Andrus has been playing manny to Helena and Niccolo s darling daughter After a disagreement that turned ugly between Andrus and Niccolo, Andrus finds himself with no where to live and nothing to do Cimil wants Andrus to come to Los Angeles because she claims she has found Andrus s destined mate Sadie Townsend wants nothing than to be an actress She spends her days between running from audition to audition, and working as a waitress to try to keep from losing her apartment So when she is hired to try to teach a sullen man how to properly romance a woman, she takes the gig What she finds at their first meeting, though, is the most beautiful man she has ever seen with bright turquoise eyes, in leather pants He is also the most sullen, rudest, most obnoxious, full of himself man she has ever met So why can t she stop fantasizing about him Andrus does not want a romance teacher He is fine just the way he is But if Cimil really does know who his destined mate is, maybe he should give her a try But one look at the delectable Sadie has his mind going in a whole different direction This is a hilarious, sweet and sexy story Sadie has just seven days to try to make a romantic, sensitive man out of Andrus But the she gets to know him, the she falls for the man he already is And Andrus is clearly smitten with her But he is supposed to meet his mate in just a few days So he is as good as taken already Still, maybe it would be okay to just have one night with him so she will know what she is missing.At the same time, Sadie keeps experiencing lapses in memory, and waking up with bites and scratches all over her body What is happening to her Who or what is hurting her Andrus is determined to find out who is hurting her and to keep Sadie safe Even if she can t be his, he wants to protect her This is a fantastic, fun trip into the crazy world of the immortals we first met in the Accidentally Yours series If you haven t read that series, you will still enjoy this book but I do urge you to read that series as well It is so much fun I loved getting to know Andrus and Sadie in this book And poor Zac, Cimil s partner He is tortured by their prim and proper office manager Tula It is hilarious I can t wait for book two in this series, Tommaso which is due out soon I can t even imagine what fate or Cimil might have in store for him. Holy Smokes, you guys This one was actually good, for real No worries, he said, with a slightly accented voice as deep as the ocean and as silky as her black panties Panties What panties Hers had just melted off This was my last shot to Mimi and quite frankly had I paid attention, I d find this was a spin off to the Accidentally Series and I would have never picked it up What I liked 1 There was actual humour And not of the cringey variety either.Take that, Sun God Are you ready to start your lesson, or do you need another decade to finish your weenie yoga 2 Andrus Duuuude This guy, total asshat but so awesome Other than how he talked and led you to believe so, he didn t think of himself as a gift to humanity I loved this teddy bear All right, big boy I am officially declaring you a dating crime scene 3 Sadie Praise God and I mean my God with a capital G she wasn t a tstl whiny bitch who thought she was a special snowflake and deserved nothing but the best Sadie wanted to kick the man in his beautiful face, but it was way, way up there The guy was like six six or something She was nice without being fake and real It was very easy to see yourself or someone you know in her what with her struggles, not wanting to end up back home and falling in love with a guy she knew it could never happen with Real, see What I DIDN T likeCalling him Percy Jackson was like calling the Terminator an EwokNobody And I mean, NOBODY, DISSES MY PERCY Cue enraged heavy fire breathing Now the important question Will I continue with the series No.I ve learned, especially with respect to Mimi Jean, it s better to quit while I m ahead.And regardless of how much I enjoyed this, I know my patience with the Accidentally series and anything even remotely associated to it, has been shot to hell. 3 3 4 Free will Stars This was very, very entertaining Andrus was so sweet underneath his barbaric ways and Sadie was super sassy with a hidden twist The story was very humorous, a tiny bit serious, and very sweet This was the first in a spin off of Mimi Jean Pamfiloff s ACCIDENTALLY series So if you haven t read those books, you may feel a little lost like I did in the beginning But you will quickly catch on Seems like mostly what you missed was, gods behaving badly and now it s clean up time.So anyway, I enjoyed this light hearted, mostly funny, sweet nothing heavy story I am so very tempted to 1 clicked the next book, Tommaso because there was a very juicy teaser for that one at the of this one But I have put myself on a very strict no random 1 clicking diet I can t give in already It s still January but it is so tempting must resist Happy reading Why yes, yes, I was ALREADY CHUCKLING before I even started reading Mimi Jean Pamfiloff s IMMORTAL MATCHMAKERS I think it was like that reaction to KNOWING you are about to be tickled, you know, your nerves are taut, and you already think Oh please, don t let me pee my pants I know, I know, crass, but come on, we are talking Cimil here being punished, along with Zac by having to make one hundred love matches for immortals.As Fate would have it, their first match will include the Demigod, Andrus Gray, former immortal assassin turned manny And let the fun begin as aspiring actress, Sadie takes on the most difficult role of her career, turning Andrus into a romantic To call him a less than willing student would be an understatement, but there is something about him that makes her melt, or sizzle or both Meanwhile, back at the office Zac is about to have his over inflated ego handed to him on a platter as the new help, Tula, seems to be immune to his godly charms.Yes, I laughed and laughed again, as Fate and Cupid have another field day at the expense of the gods Fun, fast and furiously entertaining, this sexy hot romantic tale is pure Mimi Jean Pamfiloff Series Immortal Matchmaker s Inc Book 1Publisher Mimi Boutique PS, Inc August 21, 2015 Publication Date August 21, 2015Genre Paranormal Romantic ComedyPrint Length 306 pagesAvailable from Barnes NobleFor Reviews, Giveaways, Fabulous Book News, follow I can not believe it took me this long to read a book by author Mimi Jean Pamfiloff I have had one of her other god books in my kindle FOREVER This one intrigued me to at least sample it, then I ended up buying it I did not regret it Sometimes the humor books just don t grab me like they seem to do for other people.Andrus Gray the hero I just fell in love with He was so straight forward He had such an innocent, stupid, arrogant, alpha, fuck it attitude that was so hard NOT to love him Sadie the heroine was great At least she didn t get on my last nerve like other female heroine characters The only thing that had me bummed about the book was the mate Charlotte I wish Cimil would of just said outright that it wasn t Charlotte, it was indeed Sadie all along And if Cimil indeed really was telling the truth that Charlotte was Andrus mate then I will always feel it might come between him and Sadie They Audrus and Sadie didn t feel 100 percent complete to me But I still enjoyed the book and cant wait for the next in the series Oh and I absolutely loved Zac Hold your balls, Andrus I m not finished yet He stared at her and she stared back No I really mean it I d love to see you hold themNo Not gonna drop leather trow for me She shrugged Okay, fine Anyway, where was I This book is freaking hilarious It s like epic madness that had me laughing every other page Just a giant wacky burrito covered in awesomesauce Yes, I m aware that I use burrito analogies a lot What can I say, I like burritos This book is the first in a new spin off series to the Accidentally Yours series.Accidentally in Love witha God I think you can read it without having read the first series, but it helps if you know the world and are familiar with the characters.It all starts with two gods Cimil the craziest and funniest goddess ever and Zac the god of temptation, getting in trouble for the things they did that almost caused the Apocalypse They have to pay penance by helping all of the other gods and immortals find their mates It s like going to jail and being sentenced to run a dating service for the inmates who are considered dangerous psychopaths Not exactly easy to set them up with their soulmate Personally, I consider the burrito my soulmate.They have their first clients So, we have Andrus, a demi god and ex manny to a half vampire baby and Sadie, a struggling actor waitress in L.A Andrus is going to meet his mate in just a week and Cimil has hired Sadie to help him behave in a civilized manner towards females He seriously needs this help This is how he gets ready for his practice date He did wear his lucky leather pants, but those smelled of victory He had killed at least seven hundred evil vampires while wearing themAll right I probably should ve worn the pants without the bloodstains At least he d brushed his teeth at the airport All right, he d gargled with whisky So what And, even after being under Sadie s tutelage, when she asks him what is the first thing he should do when he meets his mate, his answer isShow her my swordAlmost as big a fail as this kid eating a burrito wrong What the hell s wrong with you, kid Are you a spawn of evil or something The problem is that Sadie and Andrus are kind of digging on each other They both know that he is going to meet his soul mate in a few days, but they can t help feeling attracted to each other much like my attraction to home made guacamole It can t be stopped.totally worth itAnd, yes, I realize that I said HOME made But, hey, if the restaurant makes it, it still counts as a home made item The food lives there Along with my happiness So, we get to watch Sadie try to civilize Andrus, Zac the god of temptation going crazy over the most wholesome girl on Earth, Cimil try and keep her four evil children happy, and all of the gods at a singles mixer It is one hell of a crazy burrito ride You really need to read this book 3.5 StarsI have no idea what to make of this story Well it wasn t so much the story, as it was the writing One thing I can tell you though, is that this put me right off wanting a Unicorn Yes I m serious Have you ever seen a unicorn Andrus snarled The man shook his head stiffly Well, neither have I, but I hear that if they show themselves to you, one look will liquefy your innards and make you bleed from your eye sockets Then they use that horn to impale you from the rectum and drink your insides, using their horn like a giant fucking straw, while you remain awake for the entire event, screaming in agony I m never wishing for a unicorn again Anyway back to the writing I read The King Trilogy by this author and really enjoyed it, then I tried Accidentally in Love witha God, and thought it was stupid My issue with that one was how silly it got Now, I enjoy a bit of immature humour I ll laugh at a fart joke and snicker when someone says anything even slightly willy related, but there is a line between silly and stupid, and that book crossed it for me The same thing kept happening in this book not as much, but still These immortals are supposed to be 100 s of years old, yet they act like prepubescent boysFor example Weenie yoga I mentioned this in one of my status updates and I ll say it again It s certainly a new way to say have a wank choke the chicken beat the meat spank the monkey drain the monster or jerk the gherkin But it makes me think of a tiny willy I don t like it There shall be no weenie yoga in this house, thank you very much We ll stick to pumping the python or flicking the bean.Another example man sex kitten hair This does not create a very masculine or sexy image to pop up in my head So now not only am I picturing the main man with a tiny penis even though it s me tioned A Lot how big it is , but also with some weird girly hair Why not say like a lions mane or some such shit Argh.If you can get past the ridiculous stupid first chapter and ignore the recurring silliness that pops up throughout the book, then there s a decent, amusing story here Granted most of the men are man whores and everyone is bonkers, but this isn t intended to be a serious tale It s a light hearted romp whatever the fuck that means , with a deadly 10 inch hung hero and a strong heroine Calling him Percy Jackson was like calling the Terminator an Ewok.

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[Epub] ➟ Immortal Matchmakers, Inc. (Immortal Matchmakers, #1)  By Mimi Jean Pamfiloff –
  • Paperback
  • 306 pages
  • Immortal Matchmakers, Inc. (Immortal Matchmakers, #1)
  • Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
  • English
  • 04 April 2019
  • 9780996250429

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