In The Absence of Monsters

In The Absence of Monsters Jayden Carter Knew The Path He Wanted His Life To Take He Wanted To Get His Master S Degree In History And Teach But When He Answered An Ad For A Roommate And Met Mysterious Doctor, Ethan Bryant, He S Brought Into A World He Never Knew Existed And His Path Changes It Changes Again For Jayden And He Leaves Ethan With Their Friend, Lexi, In Tow Ethan Loses Himself In A Haze Of Self Destruction And Pain With The Help Of A Childhood Friend, Gabriel, Ethan Battles The Demons Of His Childhood And Finds A Way To Survive Gabriel And Jayden Wage An Epic War For Ethan, But In The End, They May All End Up Losing Adapted From The Forbidden Room And A House Of Cards Deconstructing Ethan

An award winning, best selling novelist of over a dozen books, J P Barnaby is a proud member of the GLBT community both online and in her small town on the outskirts of Chicago A member of Mensa, she is often described as brilliant but troubled, sweet but introverted and talented but deviant She spends her days writing software and her nights writing erotica which is, of course, far inter

❴KINDLE❵ ❆ In The Absence of Monsters  Author J.P. Barnaby – Ultimatetrout.info
  • ebook
  • 400 pages
  • In The Absence of Monsters
  • J.P. Barnaby
  • 19 May 2017

10 thoughts on “In The Absence of Monsters

  1. says:

    It has been a while since I immersed myself in a deeply powerful and compelling story and I couldn t have picked a better one to read at times dark, often emotional, it was totally absorbing.Jayden moves into the home of Dr Ethan Bryant and finds himself given an ultimatum he can t turn down, that of submitting to Ethan The story follows Jayden as he is introduced to the world inhabited by Ethan and his submissive Lexi.It is quite difficult to review this book without giving away spoilers There are complex relationships that evolve between Jayden, Ethan, Lexi, Gabriel and Connor There are secondary characters who play important roles in the story.This is a story of domination and submission with frequent BDSM scenes It is a story of struggling to understand sexual desires It is a story of broken people and damaged relationships There is denial and heartbreak but also love.I found the mood of this book sombre, with deep emotions on each and every page There were twists and turns and events, some that were expected and others a surprise What surprised me the most was my own enjoyment of Lexi in the story To be honest, I wasn t overly happy to read of her inclusion in the early scenes in the book but she is an integral part of the story and she had definitely found her way into my heart by the end of the book.I thoroughly enjoyed the way this story was told The first half of the book is from Jayden s point of view and is very much focused on his reaction to entering the world of BDSM and importantly figuring out his own sexuality The second half is told from Ethan s perspective and sheds a different light on the events from the first half of the book This part of the book was the my favourite section the insight into Ethan s background, his reactions to the events in his life and his eventual healing.Compelling story, wonderful characters, deeply emotional perfect A copy of this book was provided by the publisher in return for my honest review.Visit my blog if you want to see all my m m reviews in one place Because Two Men Are Better Than One

  2. says:

    It s taken me a while to sit down and write this review because this book is full of feels and every time I think about it those emotions, the intensity, the angst are almost too overwhelming to describe This book is a story of self discovery, healing, and love A love that is than romantic A love that is patient and unconditional I don t know if I have the words to describe how very much I adore this story from beginning to end In the Absence of Monsters is than a romance Self discovery and healing dominate this book Jayden is a lovely character, discovering himself, finding his way in life And Ethanwell, Ethan is beautifully complex His pain, his past, his healing process Ethan is one of the most amazing characters I have been introduced to This store is full of joys and heartache, love and angst Already, the first month of year, In the Absence of Monsters by JP Barnaby is already one of my favorite books of the year, and I m sure it will remain so for quite some time It s beautiful, complex, heart wrenching, and heart warming I want of Ethan and JaydenI highly recommend In the Absence of Monsters by JP Barnaby.

  3. says:

    Good book seemed a bit long for what it was though, I like a little bit action.

  4. says:

    This was a really good book This book was picked of me in a pick it for me challenge This book had me crying and laughing it tugged at my heart Jayden Carter needed to find a place to live he was tired of sleeping on his sister s cough listening to her and her boyfriend go at it Dr Ethan Bryant put in ad in the paper looking for a roommate he didn t need the money he needed the company What Jayden didn t know was that Ethan is a Dom and when Jayden went into his playroom he gave Jayden an ultimatum he couldn t turn down Ethan wanted Jayden to submit to him Ethan introduced Jayden to the lifestyle of dominance and submission Jayden has mixed emotions he never thought that he was gay and neither did Ethan until he met Jayden we wanted him Along with Lexi who was Ethan s sub they took Jayden on a self discovery in the world of D s Jayden s sister caused a lot of drama for him when she caught him on his knees tied up blowing Ethan she thought he was doing it because he needed money or for a place to live I loved the sex scenes in this book they were hot and Jayden really seemed to get off on being humiliated by Ethan Lexi was really sweet and I liked her a lot she was protective of Ethan and Jayden and them of her So when she was attacked after she moves to New York they drop everything to go help her it is there that Jayden finds out who Ethan really is Ethan was kidnapped when he was eight years old and held for eight years by a child molester this part of the book had me crying After a series of events that lead to Jayden having to leave him Ethan falls apart he realizes his feelings for Jayden and he realizes that he is alone as Lexi moves in with Jayden and becomes his sub after he is whipped by a sadistic couple Lexi and Jayden recue him and brings him to their home in Chicago where he is from I love how they help him by just being their for him and when he sees his mother for the first time in ten years he realizes that he needs to start healing to gain control of his life In Chicago Ethan starts to date as he begins to heal and it causes all kinds of drama and jealousy for Jayden each one thinks that the other doesn t want him although they are still having sex and with Jayden and Lexi s new sub Connor and Ethan s childhood friend Gabriel who he has begun dating This was a really good book with one man struggling to get over or learning to live with what happened to him at the hands of a monster while coming to terms with his own sexuality and the people that love him for who he is This book was full of heartache and loss, but I am so glad that Jayden and Ethan got there happy ending.

  5. says:

    That this is two stories combined into one book is very clear In many ways, I feel this would have worked best as a two volume series, rather than one whole book.The first half of the book is from Jayden s perspective as a young submissive just learning about the BDSM world.This part of the story didn t appeal to me I could not connect to Jayden at all There is an aloofness that comes through in the narrative which left me feeling cold and unemotional about what goes on in Jayden s life Jayden s story reminds me of the Working Boy series which left me with the same feeling, only this story is a little interesting.I found it difficult to understand how a young man who doesn t seem to have much knowledge about the BDSM world could instinctively know all the right things to do with minimal prompting I m sure it could happen, but that along with Jayden s inner monologue just didn t sell it to me.The second half of the book which chronicles Ethan s journey of discovery was much interesting to me I liked that Ethan is a flawed person and that he had his own healing to do There was a lot emotion in this part of the story that I could relate to Ethan s anguish and torment.Those readers who prefer their Doms to be minimally flawed may have difficulty accepting this reality of Ethan Seeing the man behind the Dom can be quite disillusioning for those readers who prefer the fantasy of a perfect Dom.I don t really buy the idea of omniscient Doms and I like that this aspect of the BDSM fantasy was explored in the whole book While there is a strong romance aspect to this story, this book provides an interesting perspective of the BDSM lifestyle showcasing unconventional BDSM tropes in the romance genre Overall, this was a unique BDSM romance that didn t quite pull me into the story successfully.

  6. says:

    Ok, that was high octane angst The story is told in two parts One from Jayden s perspective and one from Ethan s I liked both parts, but enjoyed the emotion of Ethan s Although there is overlap between the two perspectives, it really is a fluid story There were a couple of plot twists that completely blindsided me, maybe a little OTT, but not unrealistic What made this different from other BDSM books For me, although I understand BDSM intellectually, I have a hard time understanding how you are able to play with others without jealousy I can t wrap my head around it I was almost relieved to find jealousy in the story I feel validated.

  7. says:

    This book consists of two parts Jayden s Story and Ethan s Story, both adapted from, and replacing, The Forbidden Room and A House of Cards Deconstructing Ethan This book packs a powerful emotional punch, but what else would I expect from JP Barnaby She s a master at her craft and never leaves me untouched When Jayden answers an ad for a roommate, he s pleasantly surprised to find that the home is both charming and well kept, and he s even surprised that the accommodations offered are amazingly spacious The only areas he s not allowed to access are the third floor, where his landlord, Ethan, resides, and the room at the end of the hall His curiosity gets the better of him when he sees Ethan escort a young woman in there one night, and then when he doesn t hear any sounds and doesn t see them leave the room before he goes to bed, his imagination runs rampant and he investigates the room the next day He s both shocked and shamed when he finds out that Ethan knows that he broke his word and entered the room, but then he s even stunned by the proposition Ethan makes to him He needs to be in that room, naked, by 9 a.m on Saturday or be prepared to be evicted When he accepts Ethan s proposal, he s introduced to the BDSM lifestyle and becomes Ethan s submissive He learns that Lexi, the young woman he saw, is also Ethan s sub, and the two become friends over the next year as they work with Master Ethan When Lexi leaves for grad school in New York, Jayden sees the first signs of emotion in Ethan, and after returning from the airport, they go to the playroom where Ethan s emotional turmoil erupts in both brutal domination and sex Remorseful, Ethan later approaches Jayden to apologize and ask forgiveness He then allows Jayden to see of the man beneath the Dom as he reveals truths about himself that very few others would ever know The two become close friends and when Lexi needs them, they drop everything to head to New York to help her By now, the trio realizes how intricately their lives have become entwined, and when they return home, Ethan tells Jayden the whole truth of his past and encourages Jayden to start training as a Dom There were so many outstanding passages in this book, but one of my favorites is a scene midpoint in the story when Jayden realizes that he disappointed Ethan, and he looks down to see that he left his leather wrist cuff, a symbol of his submission to Ethan, in the playroom He reflects on what his life has become Since I d known him, there had been a place, a secret and dark place, in my soul that had been opened a hole that can only be filled with my willing subservience This was my life now I was beyond the point of no return Another time, when Ethan comes into the room, and Jayden has readied himself in bondage, he says You define my identity Am I a Dom if I have no sub I don t believe I am, for there is no one to dominate You are my dream, my goal and my purpose.Without you, I have no control And later in the story, when Ethan blames himself for what happens, he rages that he wasn t able to control the situation Control That s what my whole fucking life is about, the fact that I have no control By the time this first part of the story ends, Jayden has completed his training as a Dom, though he is still Ethan s submissive While the two work together to finalize Jayden s training and prepare for his future, tragedy strikes Jayden s family and he needs to move out to Chicago, leaving Ethan totally alone The ending of this part of the story is very emotional and very heartbreaking Part II, Ethan s Story, left me emotionally raw it was so powerfully moving Ethan is devastated after having both Jayden and Lexi leave, and he sinks into a deep depression In an effort to ease his emotional pain, and not even recognizing the emotions for what they are, he seeks out a well known, unscrupulous BDSM Domme named Dominique She beats him unmercifully, leaving deep lacerations all over his back, butt and legs view spoiler But what s worse is the violation he suffers when her husband, Claude, rapes him hide spoiler

  8. says:

    One tear slipped slowly down my cheek as I thought about what I had just done Not only what I had done, but about how it made me feel Degraded but aroused, humiliated but almost willing to beg for It scared me how much I wanted it I d never wanted anything like I wanted to be used by him In the Absence of Monsters by J.P Barnaby is a powerful drama that left me emotionally wrung dry It is the compilation of two previously released books by the author, The Forbidden Room and A House of Cards Deconstructing Ethan , both of which are no longer available This book is, by no means, an easy read It is about discovering yourself, accepting what you discovered, and learning to live with that and stay true to yourself It is about fear, hope, friendship, and love, the kind of love that withstands not only time, but all the forces of man and nature which can battle it into obscurity The author has truly done herself proud with this work and I know that the memory of the words on these pages will remain within my soul for a very long time.Jayden answers an ad for a roommate and his entire world changes when he meets Ethan Breaking the only rule Ethan gave him about the house, Jayden looks into the room at the end of the hall to discover it is filled with BDSM gear Ethan confronts Jayden and gives him an ultimatum meet him naked in the room or be out of the house by the end of the month Jayden has never been attracted to another man and so he struggles making his decision and accepting how he felt in that room Jayden meets Ethan and everything he thought he knew about himself is forever changed Along with Lexi, Ethan s other submissive, Jayden begins training under Ethan as a submissive in the BDSM lifestyle With this new revelation about his desires, though, comes serious difficulty in his familial relationships, causing Jayden to defend himself and his choices None of which is easy.Lexi leaves for New York and her graduate degree and Ethan and Jayden begin to bond just the two of them, with Ethan opening up a little, here and there, about his fears and why he so desperately needs to be in control Because of opening up as Ethan did, he determines that it s no longer appropriate for Jayden to be his sub since now they are friends, and so Ethan offers to train Jayden as a Dom Jayden s training as a Dom comes to an end with excellent results when Jayden is forced to return to Chicago due to a major family loss Lexi ends up joining Jayden in Chicago when she finishes her graduate degree but all of this leaves one major problem Ethan is left all alone with neither sub and his control begins to fracture Up until now, the book has been in Jayden s point of view which was, frankly, a wonderful thing I got to see his confusion, his change, his growth as a person, his hurt, his love, and his willingness to submit and then to dominate The pain of it was almost a physical ache and reminded me of my day in the playroom, the day he gave me that one word I could use to walk away Never, in the whole time Ethan and I had been in our relationship, did I think I would use that word I couldn t keep him hanging here, waiting for me for an entire year He needed to move on and find another submissive, someone that could help him keep his dominant identity, to remind him of who he was As I walked to his bedroom door, full of sorrow for our impending separation, I laid my cuff on his dresser Then, I turned to him and finally let my emotions show Sunset, Master Ethan Now began the second half of the book and this time it s in Ethan s point of view Which, truly, was a stroke of pure genius by the author, particularly since some scenes were repeated but now from Ethan s perspective, lending me a fresh view of a past event I mean, I got the opportunity to really get a handle on who Jayden was, and then I got an insider view into the very enigmatic and controlled Ethan I ll just be honest right now and admit that Ethan was my kind of character severely messed up psychologically and emotionally When Jayden leaves and Ethan is all alone, he simply crumples, not having a clue how to deal with any of the emotions he is feeling He certainly has no desire to get a new sub, in fact, he has no desire for much of anything except trying to escape the miserable, cold, lonely existence of his life No matter what, the friendship between Ethan, Lexi, and Jayden remains true and they do not allow Ethan to sink into the mire of his demons They come back, take care of Ethan after he disastrously allowed himself to be abused in the name of BDSM physical pain is always better than emotional , and have him return to Chicago with them.It is there that Ethan realizes he has to learn to deal with his own demons or he s never going to be able to fully live With the unconditional love and support from Jayden and Lexi, Ethan begins a journal in order to purge himself of all the things he s stored inside for too many years This becomes such a cathartic release for Ethan that it actually enables him to attempt a new relationship with his parents Which, in turn, reunites him with Gabriel, a childhood friend he had before his life went to hell and back As Ethan grows and learns to vanquish his demons he must eventually make a decision between the two men, and determine what he wants for his life As if this wasn t enough on all of their plates, a devastating accident forces Jayden and Ethan to honestly assess what they mean to each other and how to go forward.I m at a loss as to how to summarize my thoughts and feelings about this book The love in this book simply poured from the pages and there were moments when I was comforted by its golden glow and others when I suffered through the jagged reality of it Jayden, Lexi, and Ethan shared a love that is almost indescribable Although Ethan s love for Lexi was not romantic, she was his best friend and she was his first adult friend Lexi was, in some ways, the glue that kept these two men in each other s lives while they each struggled to make sense of their feelings In the Absence of Monsters is a powerful, powerful story of innocence lost and love found I can t recommend it enough.NOTE This book was provided by the publisher for the purpose of a review on Rainbow Book Reviews.

  9. says:

    Review by TanjaJ.P Barnaby, what did you do with me This was one of the best books I ve ever read It put me through an emotional wringer Seriously I think there was not one emotion I didn t have while reading it I loved nearly every moment of this book 3 This story is told in two parts, first from Jayden s than from Ethan s point of view.Jayden is a student and although his parents are rich he doesn t want their money He fights his way through life independently He sometimes is selfish and jumps to conclusions instead of talking but overall he cares deeply for the persons he loves So after reading an ad for a roommate, Jayden meets Ethan and his life got forever altered He stumbles into a world he would have never imagined and found himself not only as a submissive for Ethan but also as third part of a purely sexually, no strings attached snort here BSDM relationship with Ethan and Lexi See Jayden is not gay and as his story progressed he asks himself now and again if he could probably feel for Ethan than friendship Since he is not gay that can t be the case or can it It s a long way he had to go.So here I sat with my kindle and went with Jayden from his submissive training to being a Dom I have to confess, the first time Ethan introduced Jayden to this world was um I cringed, raved and ranted against Ethan how dare he to behave this way but it fit this story and Ethan s reasons behind it got explained later on Of course Jayden had some troubles with being a submissive, so it s time to introduce Lexi As I said before, I m not fond of m m f and yeah some scenes with all three were not for me, I m kind of weird because of the girlie parts but Lexi is such a great character you have to adore her She is sweet, selfless but not perfect She is also a great supportive for Jayden Something he suddenly didn t find in his sister any, who behaved abdominally after she found out about Jayden s new lifestyle Yep they should have talked but nonetheless her behaviour was awful The things Jayden had to endure due to his sister nearly ripped me apart but the top of it was, as a family tragedy strikes which left me in tears and emotionally drained It s also the end of Jayden s part in this book After it, I had to put the book aside because I knew the second part had something similar in store for me I just wanted to give it the attention it deserved, namely reading it in one sitting.Did I regret putting it aside Certainly not since I couldn t put it down after I started part two.Maybe you wondered already why I didn t introduce Ethan properly He has his own part in this story so here it comes Ethan is a doctor, not much talkative about himself, his past and he feels extremely unwell in the company of strangers His life also got changed after meeting Jayden After Lexi and Jayden left him, his world falls apart After only one chapter in his story I was already going through so many emotions you seriously have to congratulate the author for it.However Ethan is not the person who he seems to be, which was explained in part one, but now you can experience Ethan s life through his eyes And damn if he didn t went through really bad things This story had so many great quotes but this one stood out for me because it puts together what you can expect from part two Ethan Bryant isn t a real person he is a fictional character that I made up with to deal with the nightmare that was my life So who is Ethan Bryant really Not going to tell but it s so well written how Ethan falls apart and slowly puts himself not only back together but also learns to deal with his past For this he needs Jayden and Lexi so he moved to them Another emotional rollercoaster lays in store as you can move along with him and his past, present and future After tragedy strikes yet again I would not have thought a HEA would be ever possible While reading about this tragedy I cried loud out no, no please don t use this clich to solve things, it s not worthy of this book but strangely, after reading on, I got satisfying answers and the world, was again, better for me Sorry, don t want to spoil things for you, but you ll probably know what I m talking about after you read the book D So when Jayden and Ethan finally got their HEA I took deep breathes, yes I was soo relieved but also happy for them The road they had to take was not an easy one.This is a story about love, life and loss How to deal with all that and above all who you are and what you want from life It s a well written book has great characters and an awesome storyline If you are going to read it, which I highly recommend you do, prepare yourself for an emotional rollercoaster.A copy of the ebook was provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.

  10. says:

    So this book.wow This is an angst ride so hold on to your hat The story is told in two parts The first part being told from Jayden s pov and the second from Ethan s There s a lot going on in this story and there are a lot of twists and turns and I don t want to go into them much as I don t want to spoiler anything The general plot is that Jayden is a college student who wants to move out on his own and he ends up renting from Ethan Jayden finds that Ethan is a Dom and has a Sub named Lexi As the story progesses Jayden begins a journey in to the lifestyle through his friendship with Lexi and his relationship with Ethan Everything s complicated though as both men have issues Ethan in particular has a horrific past The story has so many things going on I can t even begin to explain.again don t want to spoil That s not a bad thing though The story is complicated and makes you think about a lot of issues I would love to say this book is for everyone but it tackles some dark subjects and as a result may not be for everyone It s not a lighter, fluffier bdsm book like some out there and it also has child abuse and rape scenes so be forewarned before starting If you re ok with darker, grittier reads then you should check this one out I received a copy of this book from the author via IndiGo Marketing and Design in exchange for an honest review

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