New Jokes for Stand-up Comedians 2014

New Jokes for Stand-up Comedians 2014 A Brilliant Book For Budding Stand Up Comedians, Or For Entertaining Family And Friends One Liners That Will Prove You To Be A Laugh A Minute Be Warned Though As It Is Adult HumorExamples How Can You Tell When A Salesman Is Lying When His Lips Are Moving Wonder Woman Hasn T Really Got A Cape She Just Turns Her Apron Around I Would Ask You How Old You Are But I Know You Can T Count That High I Started To Watch A Film Last Night, A Warning Said This Film Contains Strong Bloody Violence , I Thought, No Need To Swear About It I Like Women Like My Computers Virus Free How Do We Know The Indians Were The First People In North America They Had Reservations This Lorry Full Of Tortoises Collided With A Van Full Of Terrapins It Was A Turtle Disaster A Wise Man Buys His Wife Fine China, So She Won T Trust Him To Wash It Voldemort Has A Flat Face Because He Ran Into The Wrong Wall At The Station One Cow Spying On Another Cow Is Called A Steak Out You Never See Anybody In The Star Wars Franchise Smoking A Cigarette Although Rumor Has It That One Of The Characters Does Chew Baccy Your Sister S So Ugly Dogs Hump Her Legs With Their Eyes Closed Today I Feel As Worn Out As A Cucumber In A Convent Time May Be A Great Healer But It S Also A Lousy Beautician I Recently Realized That Shrek S Head Looks Amazingly Similar To The Female Reproductive System Oh How I Laughed When I Watched The Film To See A Green Talking Vagina My Wife Said She Wanted To Try Some Role Play In The Bedroom And Bought Me A Police Costume That Night I Was Nowhere To Be Seen And Eventually Arrived About An Hour After The Event My Girlfriend Said You Just Went Through A Red Traffic Light That S Illegal I Replied Can T Be The Police Car Behind Me Has Just Done It Too Got A New Job With The Local Hostage Negotiators And Tried To Phone In Sick But The Boss Talked Me Out Of It The Government Wants Police On The Streets There Will Be After All The Job Cuts A Drunk Was Staggering Along One Night Dragging A Piece Of String Along Behind Him A Passing Copper Asked Why Are You Dragging That Piece Of String The Drunk Replied It S A Damn Sight Easier Than Pushing It I Was Walking Past My Local Community Board The Other Day, Where I Spotted A Sign That Said, Women Against Sexism Workshop I Thought, Workshop That S No Place For A Woman A Beggar Walks Up To A Well Dressed Woman Who Is Shopping On Rodeo Drive And Said, I Haven T Eaten Anything In Four Days She Looked At Him And Said, God, I Wish I Had Your Willpower Women Say There S Not Enough Women In Comedy I Agree The Only Time I See Women Do A Good Gag Is In Pornography My Last Girlfriend Used To Drive Me Up The Wall Cost Us A Fortune In Repairs After Ten Years Of Marriage My Wife Still Knows Which Buttons To Push On The Washer And Oven

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❰KINDLE❯ ❆ New Jokes for Stand-up Comedians 2014  Author Neil Sanders –
  • Kindle Edition
  • 398 pages
  • New Jokes for Stand-up Comedians 2014
  • Neil Sanders
  • English
  • 19 January 2018

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